A best thank you very much EVER!

,

Less is more....
This is very much the Finnish thinking. In particular when it comes to compliments or feedback. At work we used to joke that "no feedback is positive feedback".

Which of course is the complete opposite of American approach. The two extremes have caused interesting situations in my every day life in US. Below just few examples from the many :)

I noticed a difference during a restaurant visit when my husband talks e.g. to the restaurant staff compared to when I answer to their questions about if everything is satisfactory.
My answer would be something like:"Everything is good, thank you." Which seemed to cause a twitch in their facial expression. Like the waiter had just swallowed a lemon or was about to get an allergic reaction.
At first I did not understand the reason to this. I thought maybe my English was the reason. Thinking that the way I pronounce somethings was about to cause a laugh attack which the waiter tried to hide.
For those who do not know me, my husband describes me as highly fluent in American English without a regional dialect.

I love making own research and doing unannounced psychological tests (do not tell this to my husband, he has not yet figured this out)....when we were asked the question next time in a restaurant, I kept silent and waited my husband to respond. With high interest I observed the reaction of the waiter.
My husband responded something like:" Yes, everything is great. Thank you very much!"
The waiter walked away with a smile....NO face twitching.

HA!!! I nailed it....Simple sincere "thank you" or even the expression:"everything is good" is simply not enough here.

I can only wonder why though....
Those are positive expressions and it should be more than plenty to show that one is satisfied. Or is it that people say those simplest forms of gratitude because they do not dare to express being unhappy? US is THE country of unlimited return policies and flexible customer service "customer is the King". Which means that saying out loud honest opinion about food being too salty or too greasy should be totally ok. It should result to being able to get another portion or discount at least.

In Finland if one gives the direct feedback of e.g. food being too salty, it is often received in a constructive manner, yet it does not mean that you get a new portion or your money back. Regardless we do say our honest opinion, especially as customers. That is the only way to make things better, keep making our world a better place.

Back to my way of showing I am content....
To proof my hypothesis I tested myself the reaction if I answered like my husband does. I did not get
any facial twitching reaction. Nobody swallowed lemons or got any other sudden allergic reactions.

Still if I am generally just happy and thankful, I will continue say "thank you" and "good". With the risk of getting twitch reaction on the waiter's face.
The logic is simple...at my work, which is also at customer service related industry, I do not get anything else either for an average performance.  Average is actually not really preferred by my employer.
When I do my work well it means that I need to be one step ahead of my client and be able to be proactive instead of reactive. It does not matter what time the work day ends if my client needs me, I am there. I need to spot their needs before they ask for it. The same I expect from the waiter before I say "great" "thank you so much".

Same goes for the hotels. I do not leave tips to get better service. I leave tips IF I get better service or I leave a positive written feedback. Finns in general leave tips e.g. for restaurant staff if they think service was good. At hotel one would generally never leave tip for cleaning, as one pays for that already in the room price. If the room cleaning service was great, one would leave few dollars.

It is the simple thinking again, the money needs to be earned. Somehow in US the consumers seem to have forgotten it. How does one help anyone to improve their performance by leaving money in advance in the hope of getting better service? That trains the whole service industry to get reactive instead of proactive. Also, leaving the money before one has seen any results means that one is throwing money out of the window. As the fact is...how can you ever really compare if you actually got any better service?
I have tested this scenario in all possible forms as well during my lengthy stays at certain Hilton...and guess what? Spoiler alert: It made no difference whether I left the tip on day one or at the last day or did not leave tip at all. The room was in the same condition each time.

We Finns generally say what we think but not more than that. We have the joke that on the second day of the relationship the Finnish male says "I love you and I let you know if it changes".
Which brings me to one slang expression that keeps wiping me off my feet: "best XXX ever!"

I asked one evening from my husband what does it literally mean. Simply because I had the feeling that I might not understand its full meaning. To me the magnitude of the expression and how carelessly it is being spread around created a contradiction.

To me it sounded like it would mean that e.g. "best cocktail ever!"
(please do not hang yourself to the cocktail...just wanted to come up with something neutral and something you could relate to) would mean that:
A) one is comparing to all "cocktails" one has drank previously (which in all cases would not be valid...as sometimes one seem to state this slang saying about first time objects / experiences)
B) the "cocktail" one is now enjoying is better than ALL the previous cocktails. If it was cocktails my Finnish sense of humor wants to ask:"Would you even remember how each one of them tasted?" ;)

Little did I know...this one goes even further, which knocked my socks off totally. Apparently in the full meaning of the saying one is not only stating this comparing one's own previous experiences but everyone else's...int the whole world. As a Finn....I can only say: :"No huh huh! Holy smokes!"

I consider it as hard work and true accomplishment if I am able to rank my life time experiences. I find it so hard to rank e.g. the cities I have lived; best to least liked or top 3. Not to mention that I would consider overruling everyone else's opinions and experiences. No way....I respect their opinion, experiences and feelings too much. We Finns tend to be modest anyway on the "tuuletus" front. We say one is "airing" when one is boasting or expressive about something positive.

Which means that you can probably forget about hearing this expression from my mouth.

I know it is probably one woman mission but I am going to continue my way to show that even small positive expressions are POSITIVE. Thank you! :)

The roots behind the saying "less is more":
http://www.abstractconcreteworks.com/essays/lessismore/ls_s_mor.html